What really makes the difference between a local and a tourist in a foreign country is the spoken word. The ‘intelligence’ guys (under persuasion) will tell you this. The next time you go to East Africa, and especially to one of the most important tourist destinations: Kenya and Tanzania; My advice is to speak spoken Swahili, HOW VERY broken you may seem. Greeting words like ‘Jambo’ (ehm) are jus…….yes, they’re just OUTDATED!! and condemned to tourists, as ‘tourist only’ language.

The general idea is to get in close contact with the country and people, trying to AVOID scaring children and other people by muttering something ‘swahinglish’. Take your time with anyone who seems trustworthy, or your job requires you to be, such as drivers, chefs, servers, etc. A little for your consumption; REPLACE words like Jambo [pron; as jah… jambo] (which in this case means ‘hello’) with a word like sasa [pron; a as in solfa ladder scale lah]. This is used in case you want to look and sound casual or, shall we say, regular.

NOTE: It goes without saying that if you are on a business trip, use English to communicate, but the best formal greeting to use in Swahili is Habari. [pron; like exclamation ha!therefore habari, but pronounce it to sound as if written habaari. Local swahili is a mix of english words with the swahili and slung called sheng. The guy on the streets of Nairobi and Dar e salaam will greet you and say ‘vipi’ [pron; sound like vee and pee]. It translates as watsup!

PS: The best places and up-to-date terrestrial information ARE NOT (rpt) ARE NOT in those funny tourist guides. Please don’t miss the fun in the city. And DON’T Walk around town like you’re on a nature trail! Leave your camping bag in the van, bring some jeans and sunglasses.

STOP hanging out in ‘families’ of 8+ people. You end up looking like you’re at some charity work or AIDS or POLIO ‘campaign’ walk. The only place where tourists look foolish is in a foreign land. One piece of advice, improve your style, learn spoken Swahili and insist on learning spoken Swahili or any other language. See you again in more of this kind of thing.