Sometimes I hear from wives and lovers (or “other women”) asking about the cheating husband’s behavior during the affair. One behavior that tends to overlap for both subsets of people is crying. Both the wife and the other woman may want to know why they are seeing tears as the husband carries out or talks about the affair.

The other woman might say, “The first time I slept with the guy I’m dating, he started crying. I was naive enough to think he was touched by what we shared, but now I realize he’s crying.” “. often when we are together. Recently, her son sent him a text when he was supposed to be at work. She was missing her son’s event and was with me at her place. He then he started crying. Sometimes when he talks about his children or even his wife, he will cry. I’m starting to realize that all this excitement has a lot more to do with his family than it does with me. But if he’s so torn up for his family, why would he be cheating on me with someone else? ? I don’t understand that at all.”

On the other hand, once the affair is discovered, you might hear a wife say, “My husband’s always been pretty stoic, but we can hardly have a conversation about his affair without it turning into a whining mess.” “He tries to explain or give me an answer on the matter, but then he starts sobbing. At first, I thought it was a ploy to avoid answering my questions. But sometimes, I catch him staring at me.” space or interacting with children and has tears in his eyes. This is a bit annoying for me. I can’t feel sorry for him. If he didn’t want to feel this kind of pain, then he shouldn’t have cheated. What are crocodile tears? Why is he crying all the time?

I can only offer my theories. I am a woman and I have never cheated on my spouse. But I know people who have been unfaithful to me, including my own spouse. So I think I have a decent handle on the thought process that goes into this and the feelings that surface afterward. In my opinion, tears are so many things together: guilt, shame, disappointment, and fear. The husband cries because he knows it’s better than this. He knows that he has disappointed the people he loves the most and involved another human being (the other woman) and brought her with him. He is crying because it hurts him to look in the face of the family he has put at risk. He hurts when you don’t have answers to give that will make this all right again. It hurts because you did this when it wasn’t necessary. You did this only out of weakness and poor impulse control.

Remember when you were a kid and you got caught doing something you knew was absolutely forbidden for a very good reason? You probably cried hot tears of guilt and sadness. And when you were performing the act, you probably felt a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach because you knew your actions were so wrong and yet you continued to do them. This is the same feeling that her husband is experiencing now.

I have heard people say that the husband is just acting while crying and trying to get sympathy. But frankly, I don’t know many men (other than professional actors) who are so skilled that they can pull out real tears over a long period of time just for show.

Does this excuse you? Absolutely not. But if you want to save your marriage, I think this is a good sign, even though it can be hard to see. It means you feel remorse. It means that you know that what he did was very wrong. And hopefully it also means that you want to avoid feeling this kind of pain again. I’m sure it’s pretty embarrassing to be a crying mess in front of your spouse and the other woman. Hopefully, this will be a motivation for him to rehabilitate himself and never repeat this behavior again.

With that said, the wife decides how she wants to react to this. She may decide that it is too little or too late. Or she may decide that because of her remorse and her motivation to do the right thing, she might give him a chance. It is important to remember that she is in a lot of pain too. No one needs to make an immediate choice about the course they want to take. Since your husband is the one who cheated on you, he will have to wait for you to decide. I hope this article has been helpful. Tears are usually various negative emotions: guilt, shame, frustration, etc. all tied up in one.